The Ferry III

Nobody thought there’d be a remake of the remake. Today nobody even remembers the word “remake” it’s so passé. There are no remakes, only series until I don’t know how much more I can stand, even Game of Thrones. I wish I knew what it’s about. It’s not that bad. Mostly I get it. Mostly because I’m not overly interested in what other people are doing, I’m only interested in what I’m doing. So I don’t watch it. Whatever it is.

Those aren’t bad words to live by, as if anybody could live by words when that meaningless expression “words to live by” was invented, much less now. But actually lots of people have lived by words which would have had no connection to whether they believed what they were writing or how they were living or what-not. I’m going with what-not.

The living is occasionally good and more often bad to non-existent. That’s why there’s other jobs. The Ferry III is a job like any other. It’s an all volunteer crew of one. Sometimes that’s all it takes. And I know nothing about the actual work of running the actual ferries, those boat things that float and go on the water. All the cute little BC Ferries. Even the big ones are cute. No one and nothing can help it if they’re attractive.

There’s no way forward in all these multitudes of fantasylands but there is a way forward right here with The Ferry III. Join me and get stranded on Ferry III. Oh, that darned wind.

I wish I’d been on the Queen of New Westminster. I mean for the experience. I’ve never had ferry plans ripped to shreds before my eyes and thrown away in the wind, completely destroyed like they were nothing. They were something to me! So it’d be kind of good for research.

I read the Queen of New Westminster took shelter in “calmer waters near Pender Island” after taking a look at Active Pass and declining the nomination. That has to take extraordinary circumstances because the Queen of New Westminster’s a tough old bird and doesn’t back down easily. I wouldn’t want to be up against it.

The news feed, the only kind I eat, didn’t say if it was North Pender Island or South Pender Island that provided the shelter of calmer waters. Doesn’t matter. North Pender likely unless it was way off course, the ferry that is.

I’ve taken the shelter of calmer waters near Pender Island myself and can’t say for sure today whether it was North Pender Island or South Pender Island and not only have I taken shelter near Pender Island I’ve taken shelter on Pender Island and that was definitely South Pender Island but we did a lot of partying on North Pender Island as well. Just thought I’d throw that in there.

The Queen of New Westminster returned to Swartz. Probably a good idea, better than running out of fuel spending hours idling away, taking shelter near Pender Island. Something like that would really put the pickle in the pot.

But trapped on the ferry! Were babies crying? Babies don’t like taking a lot of crap, especially from ferries. They show their displeasure early and often. I think everything must have been okay though. A cancelled trip is better than dying.

The ferry, for all it does, has an enviable safety record.  Nobody’s died since the  “Queen of the North”.

I missed the excitement on the “Mayne Queen” too. Of course I did. I was nowhere near a ferry last Saturday morning. I’ve never been on that museum piece when it did a u-turn and you’re back on the island you just left because of a weather event. That darned wind. I can only imagine it’s the normal stages: rage, grief, acceptance. Even if it means you have to sleep in the dirt tonight. The ferry can be a great source of wisdom too.

The Ferry II

I knew this’d happen too. I’m back in a line up waiting for a ferry again. Why do I do it? Why does anybody do it? Why? There has to be a reason and it can’t just be the understandable desire to wait in a lineup. There has to be more to it. This week’s column seeks to determine why people keep doing this to themselves.

Let’s start with myself. I like it here. I do, strange as it sounds. And the only way to get here is by sea or air. You can take a boat, get really brave and arrive in a canoe or kayak or you can fly. For that you will need an airplane. It would be possible to parachute into the island. I don’t know if it’s ever been done and undoubtedly there would be some legalities attached to an exploit like that.

“Gran, Gran, sky-soldiers are coming down all over Winter Cove Park! The invasion’s on!”

“Sissy phoned and they’re hitting us at East Point too! Jenna, sweetheart, run and tell Gramps the redcoats are coming! Time to saddle up!”

They never made that movie. It would have been great.

Yeah, it’s not bad here, if you can get here. In small or large doses, it depends on your preference. This island earth. We’re swirling in a vast cosmos, little understood.

For the people who live here full time the issue’s usually more about getting out of here when you need to. When’s it going to happen? I need to know so I can get in line. It’s what islands are like. It’s sort of the definition of “island”. A patch of ground, big or small, water all around deep enough to drown in.

Conversation overheard on the ferry:

“The second leg is non-stop to our island. It’s not really ours, but we think of it as ours. And the hours we’ve spent getting here, and getting away from this darn place. I didn’t mean that. I’m just feeling a little emotional this afternoon.”

“What about the first leg?”

I think the other guy was making a joke.

Because to my eternal credit, right? Me, you, I? It’s like therapy. As soon as you get out of this “darn place” as the gentleman put it, it’s almost as if you can’t wait to get back. I’m always torn. When I’m here I want to be there and when I’m there I want to be here. Everybody carries a healthy dose of neuroses.

Don’t lie to me you know it’s true. The session is concluded. You owe me $500. And then after all the fantasizing’s done what am I stuck with? A ferry. Yuck. Same one I came in on this morning. It’s okay though. Of course it’s okay. In fact it’s wonderful.

I, just as you, am a realist. I believe in fairies. It’s the only way to be when you’re waiting for one. But let’s get back to riding the ferry. Do we still “ride” the ferry. I think I sort of remember doing that. I think pretty much these days it’s “take” the ferry.

“We’re taking the ferry. Don’t try to stop us.”

That would be a good one too. A couple of desperadoes hi-jack the “Mayne Queen”. The queen is affrighted.

Taking the ferry, if practiced, can become fairly routine. But that doesn’t mean don’t be ready for surprises. Fortunately a surprise, at least recently, is quite rare. I hope it stays that way. Nobody’s died.

I had the opportunity to sail on the “Queen of Coquitlam” recently. I was curious when just a few days later it got into a dispute with it’s berth at Langdale and there was some inappropriate contact between the two. That sort of thing must be very difficult for the captain.

The “Island Sky” on my own second leg of a nostalgia-drenched excursion to Lund I thought to be a tight, well run ship. These things just happen and things change, as everyone knows.  It was probably the weather.

We do it, we ferry taking public, because we luv it. Does anybody actually think anybody’d get on a ferry if they had no hope? What if all the ferries suddenly disappeared? We’d be crushed.

The Ferry

I knew it’d come to this. The ferry can be a bit of a preoccupation sometimes along with the ferry schedule. The ferry comes to you in your dreams. Will it be on time? Is there room? Have you got your reservation in your hot little hand? You better. Ferry lady’s going to want to see it. Ferry man. Depends who’s on shift. How long are you willing to wait and then you keep on waiting. That’s the ferry.

And that’s just when you’re leaving the island. You’re in a desperate fight to get away before the boredom and solitude get you. May I speak in the third person here? How do you feel about it? Is it going to be okay? Will the ferry make it or has the whole schedule been destroyed by weather and all the ferries have gone down with no survivors. It’s just terrible. What is a guy who just wants to go to town going to do? Does this sound like you?

But those days are over. I’ve got my family with me in 2019, all two and a half of us. But we’re all getting used to it. Sort of. Pretty much.

The ferry makes you feel silly some times. Like when you thought you’re getting on the “Bowen Queen” but it’s really the “Mayne Queen” and there isn’t a nice lady to take your money for a coffee at her tiny, perfect, little live-action snack-food and coffee dispensary there. Instead it’s a bank of vending machines. That happened once.

Riding the ferry for years can be a terrible experience. All I need to do is exaggerate a lot. But when you get back on your regular “Mayne Queen” the vending machines, you realize quite quickly, are your friends. And if there was an actual person behind a tiny service counter like on the “Bowen” it’d probably drive you insane with upset.  I feel a hypothetical  example coming on:

“Excuse me, Ma’am. Where are the vending machines?”

“There are no vending machines, sir. I’m it.”

“What? No vending machines? This is awful. I’ll have a coffee and one of them little “Toasty Toasters””.

“Will that be all then? $13.47 is your total.”

“That was a good year.  Thanks very much.”

You can’t really say too much about the ferry but that doesn’t stop a person from talking about it. Where it is. What it’s doing. How long’s it going to be? Is it here yet? Why’s it taking so long? What’s going on? Ah gee. It gets a bit repetitive and it’s just all part of the mix with the ferry.

You’re brain goes soft on the ferry. I know mine does. It starts to melt when I’m in line. You have a car and you’re lined up with everybody else in the order you arrived to wait for the ferry.

We always like to get here a bit early just to say we did and because it often works but not always. Being first in line feels like a champion but that doesn’t happen too often. If I’m walking on like the rest of the refugees I don’t really have to be here much ahead of departure time, if there is one. There’s advantages to that but I forget what they are. I haven’t been a walk-on for awhile but I think of those days. I know it’s still out there for me. That’s something.

I’m either coming on the ferry or leaving on it. That’s how it works. No other way. The ferry is the ferry and it’s best that you just get used to it. That’s what I’ve found. The ferry goes at its own pace. It won’t speed up for you and it won’t slow down for you. It’s not about you, us, or me. It’s what the ferry needs.

It goes in its ancient steady way, plodding from island to island and if it’s really lucky, like if it’s going to the mainland on one of those rare voyages, one of these antediluvian so-called “inner-island” ferries out there in a game attempt, the tiny ferry that it is, to breech Georgia Strait and get to Tsawwassen or whatever they call it, it’s a happy ferry. How could it not be? What a brave ferry!

I only saw the ferry once out there. I wasn’t on it. It was the “Bowen Queen” again. It looked small and vulnerable rolling slightly as it chugged on in the middle of the strait, but it didn’t look lost. I took one last look as I headed for the vending machines. Chips, man. Chips. Potato chips. In the bag. In the vending machine, man. Get them now. It was my inner voices compelling me again to act. I was on the “Queen of Nanaimo” at the time. What a fine old tub.  It was a shame her going down like that.

Or “Swartz” bay. That’s a really ridiculous name. It must be tough working there. Rather too many Swartz lying about. But it’s just a shift. You get through it like all the others, and it’s okay. Actually what’s not to like about working for the ferry? It’s just a machine. It’s doing the best it can and trying to be the best ferry it can be which is so admirable and who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? I like the ferry myself. I feel like a child again.

So that pretty much wraps it up with the ferry. There’s more to the ferry of course. And it’ll be along in good time. The ferry is memories and the future and impressions each and every time I’m privileged to tread these hallowed decks. Chug chug. We’re getting there. The ferry makes it look simple.


Miami Sunset courtesy CS Nicol

The Dock

Pulling In To The Dock At Lyall Harbour

It’s hard to get interested in the dock, right? I think it’s mostly because it hasn’t burned down recently. That’s the sort of excitement that’s all too rare around here. Mostly the dock is okay though. It’s a dock, a little dock at the entrance to someplace called “Lyall Harbour” which for some reason has always struck me as a really strange name for a harbour.

Lyall’s kind of an old fashioned name sort of like “Waveney”. My step-dad had a friend name “Lyle” but you don’t hear of guys named Lyle too much anymore. I suppose there’s Lyle Lovett. I’m not huge on Lyle’s music but that’s irrelevant. There’s Lyell Island too so there’s a bunch of different ways to spell it. The dock doesn’t have a name except some official name and those are usually pretty dull.

How about “Dick” Dock?  Not “Dickorey” Dock.  Too nursery rhyme-y. Or “Betty” Dock. Let’s give it some character, people. How about Aloysius dock? I like it. Alright then let’s head down to Aloysius and get in the boat. Fish is jumpin.

I wonder how you could get something like that started, giving the dock a personal, cool name? Probably take a referendum which’d probably set the whole initiative back years. But it might be worth the agony.

I’ve been on the dock and looked at the boats at the dock but I only ever boarded a boat at the dock once and only ever stepped out of a boat onto the dock once and it was the same boat both times. The boat was called the “Anne Elizabeth” which is a very nice name.

Riding in the Anne Elizabeth was like being in some old movie. It brought back memories I could never have because I wouldn’t have been around then, but it fired the imagination, you know? The Anne Elizabeth has literally been put out to pasture which isn’t a bad way to go after a life at sea.  Just amazing.

I flew to Lyall Harbour in a plane once and stepped out onto the dock and sitting here right now writing these immortal words I can’t seem to recall if I ever actually stepped onto a plane from the dock to fly out of Lyall Harbour. I believe I may have had other arrangements at that time to get off this pokey island, which, as everyone knows, is nice to take short breaks from but, oh, the return. Back on the island! Yay!

A dock has to go on. What else is it going to do? I’m a dock. I’m here for these people. They can tie up to me so they don’t drift away. It’s a wonderful thing to be a dock. And people built me, maybe some of them were named Lyall or Lyell or Lyle or Lyla maybe, or Layla. Beautiful. If not it doesn’t matter now.

I’ve got it. “Lyla” Dock. “Hi Passengers. We’re now approaching Lyall Harbour, that’s it right there, “Lyall Harbour” straight ahead, a fine harbour. And coming up, where we’ll be disembarking, “Lyla Dock”. Folks, you’re going to love it here. Lyall and Lyla have been together a long time.  We’ve got camping, showers, a store, lots of nothing going on and beautiful scenery!

Okay. The dock is history. It’s got flavour. This is funny because “Word” keeps wanting to do American spelling “flavor” and I refuse! I’m British! We’re all British! We put the British in British Columbia! Back off!

It’s British, English, whatever. It’s spelling and we’d feel lost without that “u”. It’s the way we were raised.

Boats at the dock come and go. Some stay what starts to look a very long time. Some, decrepit, go on and on. It’s like an experiment. How long before this ship disappears? What’s holding it together and why? What is it about boats? The thing is boats hold a mysterious fascination for human beings and docks are inextricably joined to boats because every boat, no matter of what size,  will have to get to a dock at some point in time. And that’s just the truth.

That is the romance of the dock. Everything’s connected, the boat to the dock, the dock to the water and tides, the people who use the dock or maybe are just having a look around. You can get fuel at the dock which has been a godsend more than once.


Waveney Road

It’s the only way to go. Wave royally as you pass. It’s beautiful. It’s tiny. The name’s English. That’s my guess. Like the Waveney Valley. River Waveney. Suffolk. Norfolk. All folks. Just learned that on the interwebs. That’s why this site’s so educational. I’ll do all the looking up and you can sit back and enjoy the ride with a nice cup of tea. Welcome.

I don’t know. I never thought about Waveney Road too much. It was just a name and a number but it’s a quick study and just takes a few seconds. It’s better than sitting for a whole exam.

It’s fun down here. It’s great to be back in the valley. We’re looking forward to the ice melting and the bears flying away for the summer so we can get up into the high country too where there’s many a varied mystery road. Be in touch about that.

It’s great over here. It’s Waveney Road. It’s hysterical. Boom-da-da-boom and that’s it. Finish.

As a quick aside it is actually pretty darn cool when the bears fly out. They gather at the car stop or the community bus picks them up and down they go to the dock to load onto the bombers.

Every spring there’s a lot of good natured jostling and lumbering and snorfling around  because every bear on the island has had many months in hibernation to dream about this annual rite.

All right I admit it. It’s a silly joke, but I didn’t start it. Maybe there should be a few bears over here. Maybe people wouldn’t go out in the woods so much and maybe there’d be some woods left. Maybe you can nail me for some of this but not that. Not the bears. No way.

I’m riding in the back seat and it’s like why bother? Bad attitude but it’s the way I feel and I’m just not myself this afternoon. I keep hearing, “It’s okay. You’re amongst friends.” What in the world is that supposed to mean? Am I free to go? No. I’ve been kidnapped. They got the child locks on and seem pretty amused with themselves. Them and their little excursions. Probably because in the past I actually have bailed.

I’m like a caged grizzly back here. Hear me roar. Do grizzlies roar? I saw it on TV. They can get noisy. The memories come creeping in like the tide. Where was I? Oh yeah, Waveney Road. I’m on Waveney Road and as the old song says, “wondering why.”

Some fine sunset-facing properties down here and but a hen’s breath from glamorous Sunset Boulevard. In fact Waveney Road and the Boulevard intersect. The intersection’s mostly pretty sedate and non-hectic which I’m pretty sure is the way the locals like it. Just fine with me too. I’m Rick Steeves. Next stop Guanajuato! City of fountains!

That’s what travel is. If it was too much work you wouldn’t do it. Like heading for Newfoundland tonight. Forget it. Or Calgary. Remember when you’d just get in the car and drive through the night to Calgary just for fun? I did it once and it was fun but I don’t know if I’d do it again. Not sure. No is probably the safe answer. I’m just not as crazed as I used to be.

I remember guys used to drive to Calgary just to get in some big car accident and get their face rearranged a little. I don’t think that sort of thing’s as popular as maybe it once was. Could be good. I wasn’t in the car that night so I can’t say for sure what happened.

I’ve no doubt there’s more than meets the eye to Waveney Road. There has to be because otherwise, you know, it’s over pretty quick. We’re running out of time and running out of Waveney Road. I’m okay with it. It’s been great. If it didn’t exist I probably wouldn’t be interested, but here it is, short and sweet.

Image courtesy Waveney Valley website